I just gift wrapped bread.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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