i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
