I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
