i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
