You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
