I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
