He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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