Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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