Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
NoShamevember. You game?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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