Midget sex pt 2 tonight
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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