she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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