youre lurking in front of me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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