He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
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hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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