So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
