She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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