Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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