I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize