i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
