i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize