I hate all girls vehemently.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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