She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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