"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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