question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize