i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
