Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
this will be a night to untag.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
