I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You are a booty call, not a friend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
