my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize