how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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