I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
