I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
