I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
