I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
