I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize