Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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