Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
