Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
