he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize