wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
