Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she peed on how many people?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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