Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
