i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
