wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
