He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
even my farts smell like vagina
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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