Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
