No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Did you just see the Batmobile???
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
