i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
