i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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