She's JV to your varsity
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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