The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
