you mean i was at the winter classic?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
