dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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