guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
