I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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