You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
