i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my phone needs a breathalizer
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
