You really coming over, don't trick.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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