Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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