She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
