Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am one with the molecules
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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