yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
