We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
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Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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