So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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